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Joke of the Day

"If there was a game show where people have to find a phone charger before their phone dies I would win the million dollars"

"Dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, Tweet like the NSA doesn't exist."

"How can people get engaged after dating less than a year? You haven't seen their fall wardrobe yet and tbh it could be a deal breaker"

"[OC] Name something that can be a variety of sizes, but only comes in large. My penis."

"5 years from now it'll be 2020... I can see it now... That's a perfect vision joke."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Only Juan."

"""The Spoon"" Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. . Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

"Wife: ""I'm going to bed, honey."" Husband: ""Okay, sweetheart. I'll go get you a tylenol."" Wife: ""But why? I don't have a headache."" Husband: ""Great! Let's fuck."""

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist."

"Did you hear there's a new LGBT kung fu actor making films now? His stage name is Bruce Leigh"