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Joke of the Day

"How can people get engaged after dating less than a year? You haven't seen their fall wardrobe yet and tbh it could be a deal breaker"

"69% People can find something dirty in every sentence. And you are in those 69% :D"

"I'm growing my prostate to raise awareness for moustache cancer."

"You're a 10...on the pH scale cause you're basic."

"I used to date a girl with a lazy eye... but I dumped her because she kept seeing people on the side."

"I got a round of flu shots... They tasted horrible."

"When a friend asked what the sex is like with an older man... I simply said, ""He's got a lot of experience, under his belt"" ba dum tsss"

"Ran out of time At work today a coworker said to me... Coworker: I was goin to make a smoothie for breakfast but I ran out of time . Me: You put thyme in your smoothie ?! ."

"Did you know you can use voice-to-text on Twitter so this tweet came from my mouth and also stop staring at me people on this bus."

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today. Should have cooked it on aloha teperature."