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Joke of the Day

"I wonder what my dog named me."

"Movies led me to believe there would be a whole lot more unlocked cars just sitting around with the keys tucked away in the overhead visor."

"Why is Batman so jealous of Superman? Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2"

"An Indian man on his death bed. ""Sanjita, my wife, are you here?"" ""Yes, my husband.""""My son and daughter, are you here?"" ""Yes, Papa.""""Then who's in the fucking shop?"""

"Your parents didn't even want you... You would have been a blowjob if your mom had change for that $20."

"Drunk Guy Guy: Dude I Wasn't That Drunk, Friend:Dude U Were WAtching TV And Laugh, Guy: Sooo -_-, Friend : The TV Wasn't On"

"Dark Joke from my sister when she was 6. Her: How did the dead baby get across the road? Me: How? Her: It was stapled to the chicken. Me: ....."

"What's the fastest drink in the world ? Sonic the eggnog."

"My daughter asked if I am going to die someday... I said ""Don't worry sweetheart. I promise I'll be alive for the rest of my life."""

"Someone asked me if I could tell them what you would call people from the French island of Corsica. I said, Cors'I'can."