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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend hate when i call her fat And now she want us to break up so i said : What about the baby."

"I drink expresso irregardless of the time, because, for all intensive purposes, its good for my sole. Also, it keeps my brain alot sharper."

"What was the favorite food of the thrifty Italian who loved contractions? A pasta free."

"A man was applying for a job in the navy So, the interviewer said. ""Can you swim."" The man looked puzzled and asked. ""Why, did you run out of ships?"""

"There are two types of people in this world 1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data"

"[at my house after 1st date] me: so, do you wanna have some sex? her: well, I don't normally do this...but I think I'll pass"

"I don't know or care about anything, unless I'm currently reading, or have read in the past 3-5 minutes, a think piece on the subject."

"Tonight I'm going to be naughty and tie my man to the bed. Then I'll make him watch a Golden Girls marathon while I eat the left over pizza."

"Why didn't Ronald McDonald like to go fishing? Because every time he did, he'd catch a whopper."

"What is a mexican's favorite sport event? Cross country"