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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people in this world 1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data"

"I wrote a poem today! Half of it is true. The other half is just a bunch of lies to make it rhyme."

"Me: Hello, is it me you're looking for? Her: no Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you're looking for?"

"One nation, under Trump, divisible... Trade liberty and justice for Wall."

"My friend Roy made up this joke, so goddamn proud Why did the beer get bottled? He was trying to dodge the draft."

"My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out... Best game of Monopoly ever!"

"Four facts about women that prove they can do miracles. 1. They can get wet without taking a shower. 2. Bleed without being hurt. 3. Producing milk without eating grass. 4. Making boneless meat hard."

"Do it for the vine https://vine.co/v/eu9MOKJaiYi"

"What's in the middle of girls' legs? Their knee."

"What does a arsonist and a bartender have in common? For special occasions, their cocktails are on the house."