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Joke of the Day

"New Series For The The History Channel The History Channel is planning a new series, ""Airline Tragedies."" They are putting the pilot together as I write this."

"""OPEN UP, THIS IS THE POLICE!"" haha, no way losers. I've got things to do. *cop whispering* ""what do we do? this guy is owning us hard!"""

"How do Jazz musicians drink their liquor? Straight, No Chaser."

"This is one of those gems thought up at 4 am, why does nobody listen to Neo-Nazis? It's all just white noise."

"Did you hear about the blind porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!"

"I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and my doctor said it was caused by browsing /r/funny."

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again"

"Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris."

"My wife spiked my dinner with viagra and gave me an epidural. No hard feelings."

"Lotta single women are getting a ""What's up?"" text right now."