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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again"

"Did you hear about that party at Thor's? No, I guess you wouldn't have; he kept it pretty Loki."

"What do you get when cross-eyed and looking at a solar eclipse? A solar ellipses..."

"Two muffins cooking in a oven One says ""fuck it's hot in here"" the other says ""Holy shit, a talking muffin"""

"Porn Ears? Q: What's the most sensitive part of your body when you're masturbating? A: Your ears."

"What do you call two lesbians in a fist fight? A Muffle Ruffle."

"Why did the jihadi hooker ask for advance payment from her clients? She blew them every time."

"Have been woken up with the hangover from hell by the sound of my neighbour's lawn mower. He'll just have to mow around me, I'm not moving."

"oh, youvve read a few academic papers on the matter? cute. i have read over 100000 posts."

"Why do hipsters always burn their mouth when they eat? BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO EAT BEFORE IT WAS COOL!"