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Joke of the Day

"Lotta single women are getting a ""What's up?"" text right now."

"Another beautiful day to waste the utopian potential of social media on social media."

"I'm a Poet... and I didn't even realise until just then."

"I'm glad humans don't do the combo breed names like Labradoodle. I wouldn't want to tell people I'm Germish."

"What do you call Jewish coffee? Hebrew"

"KID: are you sure this will work? ME: *holding a fishing rod with a peppermint attached* do you want a new grandpa or not?"

"I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain."

"Why are all those people running? A: Why are all those people running? B: They are running a race to get a cup. A: Who will get the cup? B: The person who wins. A: Then why are all the others running?"

"Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking? Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!"

"An impotent man... ... named his dick Magikarp. Because it's useless and can only splash."