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Joke of the Day

"Don't play pocket hockey... the referee is a dick!"

"Galadriel told Frodo only he could destroy the ring. Smokey Bear said only YOU can prevent wildfires. Frodo did his job; did you do yours?"

"Told my friends that I was qualified to give them Botox injections. I raised a few eyebrows."

"What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? We're closed beat it."

"If you emphasize the po in police they're probably already after you."

"What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common? Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure."

"Don't have your phone number posted on FB if you don't want me calling you at 3am drunk asking for the recipe of that cobbler you posted."

"I crashed into the back of a dwarf's car... He got out, looked at the damage and said ""I'm not happy"". So I replied "" Which one are you then?"""

"Physics! What hurts really bad? Frequency!"

"Teens are leaving FB for Twitter & Instagram to escape parents. Silly rabbits, we were here first."