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Joke of the Day

"WATSON: do you even have a proper education? SHERLOCK: Elementary, my dear Watson WATSON: but, like, beyond that SHERLOCK: nah"

"Why didn't Anna and Elsa's parents teach them the alphabet? Because they got lost at C."

"Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. -History"

"Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!"

"I set up a life size mousetrap in my front yard, but instead of cheese as bait, I used a fedora. Death toll: 17 hipsters and a curious cat."

"Jesus didn't know how to close a door. He was born in a barn."

"Did you hear about the skywriter's autobiography? It was way over my head."

"Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we're never going to meet real people ever again."

"I asked Kanye West if he'd seen Inception & he opened the locket around his neck revealing a photo of me asking him of he'd seen Inception."

"I don't think this girl on Facebook will ""survive"" the 2nd day of her diet.. I'll keep you posted."