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Joke of the Day

"Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!"

"Project manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. Project manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month."

"Boss: I was listening to some Tool on the way to work. Me: I talk to myself when I'm driving sometimes too, it's ok. Boss: Just get out."

"What's the best thing about fucking twenty one year olds? There are twenty of them."

"Customer: Can someone else serve us? Me:? C:I don't want my children exposed to the sin of your tattoos. M: Satan wants their tiny souls."

"I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts. Well sew it seams anyway."

"I missed my cake day yesterday. Here's a joke. My life."

"Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet."

"Back in high school, I had this very bad beard and everyone would make fun of for it... So I had to start using a razor to *shave* face"

"a girl to her mother: Mom! I was stopped at a red light and got hit by a car! --oh no! who rear-ended you? lots of guys, mom! But can we go back to talking about my accident please?"