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Joke of the Day

"Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we're never going to meet real people ever again."

"I'm not sexist. Sexism is wrong. ...and being wrong is for women!"

"When it comes to sex, when is a man the smartest? Before, during or after sex? During. Because your plugged into a ""know it all."""

"ME: On the one hand, I have this weird rash. And on the other hand DATE: ?? ME: It's on both hands, I should probably see a doctor"

"I hate it when I'm on twitter & there isn't a car behind me to honk when the light is green."

"How did cell embarrass vegeta? He put a hole in his trunks."

"My husband still waves to policemen like a 5 year old."

"What's a feminist's favorite subject? Trigger-nometry"

"The real reason Washington state passed Gay-marriage and recreational marijuana use. Because the bible says when two men lie together, they should be stoned."

"I don't know what Hitler's favourite drink was. But he sure as hell didn't like juice."