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Joke of the Day

"I set up a life size mousetrap in my front yard, but instead of cheese as bait, I used a fedora. Death toll: 17 hipsters and a curious cat."

Next Joke
 
"My friend told me my mustache makes me looks like Jeffery Dahmer. I said, ""Thanks. I've always wanted a killer stache."""
"*Putting ikea furniture together* Her: ummm, it's supposed to be a dresser Me:* Standing next to a wooden T.Rex* I KNOW WHAT IM DOING, LINDA"
"""I think we should feel other people."" (Blind couple breaking up.)"
"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it. It's not gonna come. (Probably been posted before, but oh well I'm new and I apologize)"
"A sandwich walks into a bar The barman says, ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""
"The other day I saw a sign on my street for a garage sale ...but I didn't go. I already had a garage."
"Why did the melon try so hard to get her father's approval? Because she cant-aloupe"
"What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper."
"How do Helen Keller's parents punish her? They leave the plunger in the toilet."
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