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Joke of the Day

"Why did the atheist go to church? To use the Pokestop."

"How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid? He died of asphinxiation!"

"We heard that the building was being attacked by a giant fly... ... So we called the SWAT team."

"What does Miller Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They're both fucking close to water."

"[creation of bats] God: stretch out that mouse"

"How Many Muslim Women Does it Take to Screw In a Light Bulb? Silly, Muslim Women aren't allowed to screw in light bulbs."

"When people ask me how old I am, I always say 45. They all think I look AMAZING for my age."

"I have two requirements in my will... 1). I want my remains spread out at Disney World. 2). I do not want to be cremated."

"Dude in front of me at Starbucks made a big show about calling his Grande a ""medium"" and the barista was like, ""Uck, this again"""

"Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory? Because he went crackers."