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Joke of the Day

"""Can I see your ID?"" Sure, it's... *lowers sunglasses* *raises them* *lowers them again* ""What are you doing?"" I don't know."

"What's a pirate's favorite programming language? You might think it's R, but his first love has always been the C."

"I wish my phone would stop correcting omg' to OMG', I'm not that shocked."

"Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter."

"Would you like to hear a Helen Keller joke? I'm sure she would, too."

"I dropped acid this morning The teacher made us evacuate the lab."

"What Google Drive app is reserved for Jews? Google Gasroom"

"You win some, you booze some!"

"The Bermuda Triangle A.K.A.... Clinton's Inbox"

"what lives in a box and needs air? a U.S veteran."