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Joke of the Day

"""Can I see your ID?"" Sure, it's... *lowers sunglasses* *raises them* *lowers them again* ""What are you doing?"" I don't know."

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"What does Trump grab this month? What does Trump grab this month........ Octo-Pussy"
"What did the glue taste tester say? Mmmmm."
"Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll."
"TIL that Funimation has an unreleased Dragon Ball Z episode where they just improved the whole script. Oops. Wrong dub. (Real oops. Meant to type improvised)"
"Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People."
"My wife said she wants to rescue a cat so I threw it in the pool."
"Punchline Wait, I probably wasn't supposed to put that in the title."
"If I had a nickel for every time I had sex... ... I'd be a very cheap hooker."
"Little Timmy lived in Flint But little Timmy is no more For what he thought was H2O Was PbSO4"