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Joke of the Day

"This afternoon, I was attacked by a group of gay men. I didn't know how to escape. I had to beat them off left and right"

"Weird; People in my office have started naming the food in the company fridge. Today I ate a tuna sandwich named Kevin."

"What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day? Rugs and kisses!"

"A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks ""Why the long face?"" He answers, ""because I'm an alcoholic and I'm destroying my family."""

"My homemade bread turned out very well, kneadless to say."

"[first date] me: [don't let her know you're a microwave] her: my food is a bit cold me: [my head starts slowly rotating]"

"An Asian boy come home from the doctor and he tells his dad... Son: Dad the doctor said I'm allergic to bees Dad: That good, now you can only get A"

"I bought my friend an elephant for her room... She said ""Thanks!"" I told her ""Don't mention it."""

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Ah St Patrick's Day I better eat some Irish food *pours self bowl of Lucky Charms*"