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Joke of the Day

"Oh, you solved a murder? I guess that's cool. One time I didn't run over my ex when I saw him crossing the street. I prevented a murder."

"If at first you don't succeed... ...skydiving is not for you"

"Did you hear about the man who was to amputate a foot? They amputated the wrong one. Now they're both in a wheelchair."

"Did you hear about the circus performance gone wrong? The lion tamer was mauled, it was in tents."

"Judge: State your name. Me: Not Guilty Judge: What? Me: I had it legally changed. Judge: You're Not Guilty? Me: *moonwalks outta there*"

"He's going to change just for you? Wow, you must be a very special kind of stupid"

"You're more special than relativity."

"I heard they're inventing a new kind of bed... ...but most of the theories I've heard are bunk."

"Somewhere, some Nigerian lawyer is wondering why you're not sending him the personal information that he needs to give you your inheritance"

"Butter Joke There's a brick of butter and a fly, the fly was stuck on the butter. The fly says to the butter ""Hey butter , why don't you fly."" The butter says ""Because I'm not a Butterfly!"""