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Joke of the Day

"I heard they're inventing a new kind of bed... ...but most of the theories I've heard are bunk."

"The vegetable crisper or as I call it, the cold garbage can."

"I bet feminists hate pedestrian crossings... What with that red/green man telling them when they can and can't walk."

"Sorry, grandma. You stood up. You have to be Slim Shady now."

"What do you call a white athlete who wins a sprint vs black athletes? A racist. :) xxx"

"Where do terrorists like to go for a drink? The Allahu Ak Bar"

"What do you call a monster with a wooden head? Edward."

"Feminism Joke Man: So what do you want? Feminist: I want equal rights and liberties as men. Man: I couldn't agree with you more... because if I did, you would have a problem with that."

"Boss: Staff meeting at 3:00. Me: I can't come, I'm allergic. Boss: But we're not serving food. Me: ... yeah now I really can't come."

"Asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog & Schrodinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not."