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Joke of the Day

"Hey, if it doesn't work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever."

"My son managed to lock the car with my keys still in the ignition. He suggest a coat hanger. I said we're a few years too late for that."

"Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!"

"Police Chief: There has been a car hi on Seventh Street Police Officer: Don't you mean a hijack? Chief: No, he had an iPhone 7"

"""These diet pills better work,"" I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake."

"I liked ""Facebook posts"" better when they were called ""journal entries"" and no one was allowed to read them."

"what's grey and comes in quarts? an elephant"

"Whats the difference between jam and jelly? I cant jelly my dick up your ass"

"What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND EEEEEEEEEEYYYYYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

"Shortest joke I know. Dwarf shortage."