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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pig with three eyes ? Piiig"

"What type of punch hurts kids the most? A sandy hook"

"sitting is bad for u, but the standing desk is all wrong. i present to u... *unveils computer hanging from ceiling with a bed underneath it*"

"Driving back from funeral yesterday: Stairway To Heaven *click* Tears In Heaven *click* Highway To Hell *click* Macarena! *leaves it*"

"Sorry about all the Mario references. I didn't mean to one-up you. I'll pipe down."

"Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because of the holes in his hands."

"Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body? Dumbbelldor."

"Just gave my husband a 3 dozen box of condoms. He laughed and called it a life time supply. I laughed and called him optimistic."

"Why didn't The African go to the classical music event? He was a baroque ass' negro"

"My boss said to me. ""You're the worst train driver. How many have you derailed this year?"" I said "" im not sure, its hard to keep track"""