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Joke of the Day

"If I call you cupcake it's because I'm probably going to put my vanilla frosting on your forehead"

"Last night I dreamt I was a vacuum, it really sucked."

"""When someone is mad at you, that's THEIR problem"" and other advice from my upcoming book, Where Did All My Friends Go'"

"I wonder Is Gordon Lightfoot heavy handed?"

"Meanwhile, in Facebook, Greta, who dislikes the gays, is about to get a big surprise from her son and his ""roommate"" of 20 years."

"A Jewish dilemma? Free ham"

"How do you know if you're at a gay barbecue? The hotdogs taste like shit."

"I used to be schizophrenic. But we are ok now."

"I don't understand why people make jokes out of 9/11 Those jokes are just plane wrong"

"Caught my food taking a picture of me. When I confronted it, it said it was for its people blog? What a creep."