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Joke of the Day

"Hey lady I have bad news for you someone thought your hair was noodles and left their chopsticks in it."

"back in my day, we had to print out a tweet and hand it to a friend for a retweet. you kids got it easy ""shut the fuck up grandma"""

"I was going to make a joke about anal sex... ...butt fuck it."

"Bon Iver just walked into my Starbucks. Wait nope just a super sad cat."

"Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam walk into a bar What is this, said the bartender, Alcoholics Eponymous?"

"A man walks into a therapist's office, looking for closure..."

"Congratulations. You're 18. On a list of 20 people that I want to kill."

"Do you know what girls say to a guy with a big dick? I do!"

"Met a woman with 12 boobs last night... Sounds unbelievable dozen tit"

"People say size doesn't matter... But I'd like her better if she didn't have a dick at all."