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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a frozen Communist? A hammer and pop-sickle"

"What's the difference between an epileptic clamshell-shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea? The clamshell-shucker shucks between fits..."

"A farmer decided to sell all of his chickens to the highest bidder... It was poultry in auction"

"What did the intellectual neckbeard say to his buddy when he was asked about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight? I've never heard of that court case."

"what did the kiwi statue said to the other kiwi statue? statue bro?"

"What is a mathematician's favorite food? A slice of Pi."

"I went to a massage parlor today... When it was time for the happy ending, I finished in 20 seconds. The massause said I need to come more often."

"MOM ITS NOT A DOLLHOUSE IM PRETENDING TO BE A GIANTE THATS TERRORIZING A FAMILY GOSH *waits for mom to leave* and im makig them have tea"

"Why is a hurricane called a hurricane? If it were predictable, it'd be called a himmicane"

"[first date] HER: I really like you ME: I like you too HER: So did you bring protection? ME: *gesturing to my bodyguard* Yeah, this is Tony"