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Joke of the Day

"MOM ITS NOT A DOLLHOUSE IM PRETENDING TO BE A GIANTE THATS TERRORIZING A FAMILY GOSH *waits for mom to leave* and im makig them have tea"

"What does Kim Jong Un do when he's angry? [removed]"

"M: I rear-ended some girl today W: Oh how much damage to her car M: Car?"

"My mother said fetch me a glass of water... My mother said ""fetch me a glass of water"" and I said ""no"" my mom said ""I bore you for nine months!"" So I said ""you bore me every time you speak!"""

"Where do robo-babies come from? From the computerus."

"How did the programmer celebrate his birthday? var celebration = [""Hip"", ""Hip""];"

"My coffee tastes like the dishwasher. Makes me wonder how Carl's doing and if he still has that same distinct flavor."

"All I'm saying is if the toilet still flushes when the power and gas goes out, why don't we run more things on toilet power?"

"My friend told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said maybe"

"I stepped on a grape... and it let out a little wine."