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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an epileptic clamshell-shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea? The clamshell-shucker shucks between fits..."

"Q: Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms? A: He said they came in handy."

"You can tell a lot about my BF by the way he's giving me the silent treatment. He's doing it wrong. I'm doing it right but can't tell him."

"Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his ass."

"I watched Lost In Space and loved it! It was a great documentary on Matt Damon."

"*sends you a pic of a kitten* *you reply, ""Awe""* *face melts* *responds, ""We've been over this already, it's ""Aww""* *deletes your number*"

"If you look in your bathroom mirror & say ""Donald Trump"" 3 times, the hair in your shower drain rises up & starts yelling racist slurs."

"What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"What is your favorite ""There are two kinds of people..."" joke? My favorite is ""There are two kinds of people...those who cheat at 7-up, and god damned liars."""

"Dylann Roof was just sentenced to death.... Needless to say he was FLOORED by the news."