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Joke of the Day

"How does a ghost eat a hotdog? By goblin it. Sorry"

"How does Snoop Dogg keep his canine teeth white? BLEEEEEE-YATCH!"

"In every generation there's one man who stands up for the little guy: Bernie Sanders is that little guy."

"I wish more fat people would utilize the phrase ""Blimpin ain't easy."""

"A client just thanked me profusely for curing his erectile dysfunction. -shrugs- It wasn't hard."

"What does a Spanish cow say? Muuuuuuuey!"

"Knock Knock! ""Who's there?"" ""9/11."" ""9/11, who?..."" I thought you said you'd never forget!"

"[accidentally hits Siri in high school classroom] Siri: what can I do for you, #1 God of Sex? [every boy in the class checks their phone]"

"If you think my tweets are bad, you should see my choice in men."

"Mother: Did you make your bed today? Daughter: Yes Mom but I think it would be easier to buy one."