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Joke of the Day

"Mother: Did you make your bed today? Daughter: Yes Mom but I think it would be easier to buy one."

"Disliking the social justice crowd is to hating social justice as disliking the song ""We Are the World"" is to hating starving children."

"What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes."

"If you're waiting on me to 'get ready' I'm probably just spending 20 minutes trying to get my hoodie strings the same length."

"Why do christians avoid trigonometry ? because there is alot of sin going on."

"What is the direct competitor for Dungeons and Dragons? Helmets and Spades. Tee hee."

"Did you hear about the psychic midget who is wanted by the FBI? She's a small medium at large."

"As soon as he clicked on the title... ...he realized that someone was narrating him while he was browsing reddit. He chuckled and left an upvote, ready to read some more reposted jokes."

"Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The piano player can do that with his left hand."

"When I was a child, my father would always tell me, ""The sky's the limit!"" He was never supportive of my dreams to become an astronaut."