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Joke of the Day

"Relationship status: held a door open for a girl, so she used the other one"

"What does a doctor prescribe a hardcore porn actress, when her vagina is too swollen to work? Antifistamines."

"Fathers day... ...the most confusing day in the ghetto."

"I'd hate to give a speech to nudists because I'd be nervous and then I'd have to imagine them without their skin on and skeletons are scary."

"I don't always tell dad jokes But when i do, he laughs"

"What's the most annoying part about waking up to find a penis drawing on your face? Figuring out how to make it stop."

"If at first you don't succeed, you're probably assembling furniture from IKEA."

"Why did everyone hate the shoe company? It had no soul."

"Text response from a confused carcass: I decay."

"Driving Have you ever been driving down the road and you flick a cig out of the window, then a few minutes later you smell something and turn around to see your nan fingering herself in the back seat?"