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Joke of the Day

"Fathers day... ...the most confusing day in the ghetto."

"As confused as an atheist who's stuck behind a car that isn't moving at a green light & has a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you love God"

"Everybody is somebody else's weirdo."

"If we would have taught the West Africans how to cook their chicken properly; we wouldn't be in this mess to begin with."

"I'm human, but I never got to go to space. Dogs and monkeys *aren't human, but they did. That's the gist of my lawsuit against NASA."

"If Marilyn Monroe were alive right now, what would she be doing? Clawing at the lid of her coffin."

"black friday is crazy, I just maced a kid then some old woman shot me with a crossbow"

"My kleptomania is getting worse I should definitely take something."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your dick in your girlfriends ass!"

"I'm not one to brag about my financial skills, but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding. ~ Rob DenBleyker (Cyanide & Happiness)"