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Joke of the Day

"What's the most annoying part about waking up to find a penis drawing on your face? Figuring out how to make it stop."

"Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations? Because of the overflow errors!"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry managed to escape the chamber."

"If we get pulled over this beer is yours. - Dads"

"So everybody hates Crocs yet the company is worth $2 billion!Some of you f*ckers are lying!"

"What do you get when you put tea in pans pants"

"I'm going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is."

"Oh no I got so excited that you texted me that I accidentally replied 11 thousand times and then swung into your house on a rope"

"what do you call somebody who hates shoes from Asia? A lacist."

"Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"