150516
Joke of the Day
"If at first you don't succeed, you're probably assembling furniture from IKEA."
Next Joke
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's probably too cheesy."
"Now I don't know if this is racist but a black guy walks into a bar.... The barman goes 'wow where'd you get that?' To which the parrot goes 'Africa'"
"Old man first world problem I can't use a fleshlight without first using viagara"
"""I wanna fu*k you so bad right now."" ""WHAT!?"" ""Damn autocorrect, I meant ""hey"""
"If the emoji I wanna text is not in the ""recently used,"" you may have to wait 3 days till I find it."
"Why did the Hipster order piping hot soup? He wanted to eat it before it was cool."
"What is E.T short for? Because he's got little legs."
"What Did Cinderella Say When She Got To The Ball? Cough, gag, choke, etc..."
"this is our son, Ryder Kade Ace Hypermasculine Overcompensation for Daddy's Fears Jones-Rendenburg"