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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard of the artist Jackson Polyp? He could only paint with splatters and he hung out with some real assholes."

"Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I hate Bounty Hunters."

"My friend tried to get an anal piercing and failed... They're still butthurt about it."

"Thank you for explaining the word 'many' to me. It means a lot."

"Marriage is like a deck of cards At the start all you need is a heart and a diamond. By the end you just want a club and a spade"

"Pinocchio When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood? when his hand caught fire!!"

"I'm about as excited for hilary to be president, as Bill is when he sees her naked."

"What's the deal with airline food? Buy 2 get 1 free"

"Twitter is what happens when you take the red pill and the blue pill."

"I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? Because it had a bad driver! *drops mic*"