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Joke of the Day

"Twitter is what happens when you take the red pill and the blue pill."

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"What is the difference between a Jew and a Canoe? a canoe tips."
"People were so scared of those vicious clowns a few months back, then they accidentally put one in office"
"In response to the ""How do you starve a black person"" joke. I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free, you racist son-of-a-bitch!"
"Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food"
"Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!"
"A woman asks a famous man to give her a signature on her breast. The famous man says ""Sorry, I don't know how to write that small."""
"Why do bicycles fall over? Because they are two tired."
"Practicing for my audition tape for ""MTV True Life: Let's go huff some fucking glue"""
"Let's all just take a moment to appreciate the dedicated men and women of this great nation who sacrifice their evenings to deliver pizzas."