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Joke of the Day
"Twitter is what happens when you take the red pill and the blue pill."
Next Joke
"Why do straight white girls always hang out in odd numbers? Because they literally can't even Like. Omg."
"I finally got the confidence to be a peeping tom For the longest time, I was just beating around the bush"
"How many Redditors does it take to change a light bulb? 1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first."
"Years ago I bought a dress for my wife at a store that sells hard-to-find items. I asked why I never see her wearing it. She said she can't find it."
"The White House is putting on a play adaptation of Modern Family. When asked which character he wanted to be, Obama said ""Uhhh...let me be Claire."""
"Did you hear about the Christmas Party in San Bernadino? It was wild. A Muslim couple showed up and put 14 presents six feet under the Christmas Tree."
"Just ran into Bjork walking into her hjotel. Ljoking fjorward to her show at Pitchfjork tjonight (hjoly shit my Icelandic is pjerfect)."
"Why did the comedian mermaid die ? Because it had a dry sense of humor ."
"What sort of net is useless for catching fish ? A football net !"