63948

Joke of the Day

"""This is gonna be so awful, and everyone's least favorite, yet .0001 of the population will keep it in demand."" - Inventor of licorice"

"Why was the Amish girl excommunicated? Too Mennonite."

"I love the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day."

"One time I ordered a diet coke but it didn't come on time. It said it had responsibilities in the Japanese government."

"What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb. - Steve Martin, ""My Blue Heaven"""

"How many people from Brazil does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A Brazilian!"

"Ebola seems pretty serious I think I might take one more flinstone vitamin in the morning from now on."

"So two baby seals walk into a club"

"Dad: What do you want for your birthday? Me: I want a gf thats not crazy. Dad: You should ask for something more realistic. Like a dragon."

"*Caterpillar marriage therapy* Wife: he's not the man I married Husband flying around room: I'm the same on the inside Karen!!!"