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Joke of the Day

"Just remember ...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off."

"gardens are insane. ""Oh that's just my box of dirt that pushes food at me very slowly."""

"What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop? Your tires are low."

"Today there was an explosion in my kitchen... I combined pasta with antipasta."

"Hey, are you Jewish? Cause you Israeli hot. My go-to joke at parties."

"Employer: ""In this job we need someone who is responsible."" Applicant: ""I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."""

"Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails."

"Reddit? More like...Eddit"

"I was told I could view the eclipse through a colander. I think I strained my eyes"

"I just think of unfollowers as me paying my Follower Tax."