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Joke of the Day

"They say 99% of the population is stupid... I'm glad to be a member of the other 2%!"

"Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying ""I want to help Arsenal win trophies."" So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?"

"I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."

"What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail? Small medium at large."

"The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts."

"Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end."

"What's the favorite song of blacks I shot the sheriff"

"What does a polite pirate say? Chivalry-Timbers!"

"Cake is better than sex because cavities are better than babies"

"I'm not sure how messed up this is. What did Bill Cosby say when he was asked about the child abuse claims? Kids say the darnedest things."