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Joke of the Day
"The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts."
Next Joke
"Guys, it could be worse. Male random baldness could have been a thing."
"[fans out the deck] Pick a card, any card.. Memorize it.. [hits you in the face with a shovel] KING OF SPADES! [walks off]"
"From my 8yo daughter: What do you call a boat made out of corn? A: A tortilla ship!"
"How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Don't be silly, Californians screw in hot tubs!"
"Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. ""Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?"" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!"
"I hate autocorrect... It turns my writing into a total duckfest."
"""Wow, that's great!"" ~ Me, not paying attention, and hoping you didn't just tell me your Grandma died."
"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A porcupine keeps its pricks on the OUTSIDE"
"Hear about the guy who broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra? The police are looking for a hardened criminal."