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Joke of the Day
"Curiosity killed the cat... Why the hell was she on Mars?"
Next Joke
"Q: What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back? A: Wheeeeee!"
"Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL."
"What do you call a dancing cow? A milkshake"
"What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a bath? The nun has hope in her soul, and the woman has soap in her hole. EDIT: NSFW?"
"Um, hi. How much is the rent for this amazing apartment? Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store."
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the P is silent."
"I found out I'm part Native American..... my beard is Apache."
"A kid asks his Dad ""what does 'gay' mean?"" The father says ""It means 'to be happy."" The son asks ""Are you gay?"" The father says ""No, son. I have a wife."""
"Bishop gets in trouble for saying fruits should get married in churches ""It's only reasonable, they cantaloupe"""