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Joke of the Day

"Bishop gets in trouble for saying fruits should get married in churches ""It's only reasonable, they cantaloupe"""

"When a woman says, ""I'm NOT crazy"" *clapping her palms together per syllable* That's universal for, ""You're going to die."""

"Forget waterboarding... I'm ready to tell this damn popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth everything it wants to know."

"How do Emo kids reward themselves? Gold Scars. I'll see myself out."

"What do old cars and dead chickens have in common? You'll usually get more money for them if you sell them for parts"

"How do you ask for a cigarette in spain? Tapas a snout!"

"I'm going to make a calendar of sexy Islamic extremists I will call it, Ji-hotties"

"Using what sexual position often causes a couple to have an ugly baby? I don't know, ask your mom."

"What do you call a midget clown that juggles? A Juggalo"

"66% of Canadians were unimpressed with ""The Revenant"", or as it's known in Canada, ""Pretty Average Day"""