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Joke of the Day

"A kid asks his Dad ""what does 'gay' mean?"" The father says ""It means 'to be happy."" The son asks ""Are you gay?"" The father says ""No, son. I have a wife."""

"Intelligence is the new cleavage"

"Why do asians have such squinty eyes? Because atomic bombs are pretty bright."

"Q: Why was the firewood punished? A: It was knotty."

"Have u seen the movie ""Constipated""? Oh that's right it hasn't come out yet."

"You enter. ""I've been expecting you,"" I say from behind the massive swivel chair. I put too much leg into turning around & spin for 5 mins."

"While shopping for a new phone I found that they offer this thing called 'phone calls'. Has anyone used this? Is it an app?"

"Barbie didn't give me a poor body image; Barbie taught me you can't reattach a head once it's been removed from the body."

"I don't like drug tests... They're not my cup of pee."

"My wife called me a paedophile yesterday Quite a long word for a 9 year old."