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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dancing cow? A milkshake"

"Hey, have you heard about.... A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated."

"In the eyes of God, there is no good reason to Masturbate... In the eyes of my girlfriend, well she prefers it on her chest."

"your mama so fat she was going to walmart tripped over kmart and landed right on target!!!"

"Abortion sure brings out the kid in you."

"Depending on who you are determines what colors you see the dress as. Chris Brown sees it as black and blue."

"What's invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey farts."

"ME: [whispering]""Yes, 911? Someone's breaking into my house!"" 911: Stay calm. Do you have an address? ME: ""um no. I have on pajamas"""

"Google Glass, for everyone who's ever thought, ""I like that browser so much, I want it on MY FACE"""

"Turns out being a conspiracy theorist and having Asian friends don't go so well together. You can only shout ""OPEN YOUR EYES!"" so many times before someone gets offended."