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Joke of the Day

"I don't answer unexpected knocks on the door in case it's the beginning of a very polite Zombie Apocalypse."

"The room is 15$ a night. Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

"So this guy is on a date with this hot chick, after a while, weird sh*t starts happening..."

"What do you call a high retarded person? A baked potato"

"I went to the Space and Air Museum in Indiana... I paid $20 just to see an empty warehouse."

"I was kicked out of the army because I got gonorrhea It was a dishonorable discharge"

"2016 has been pretty bad but at least girls stopped drawing mustaches on their index fingers and holding them under their noses."

"How do you know a moth is gay? Its balls are deep in the closet."

"Couldn't afford the ""Wheres Waldo"" book for my baby niece so I just Tivo'd the winter X-games and told her to find a black man in the stands"

"How come wrong numbers are never busy?"