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Joke of the Day

"What's the resemblence between politics and sex? It can be in whatever position they choose, but regardless there's still just gonna be a dick going in there, and you're still getting fucked."

"I hardly ever drink Only 2 times a year to be exact On my birthday, And when it's not my birthday"

"Don't you hate it, when you offer someone help and the other person says yes"

"Did you hear about the snail who used to be shipped around the world in wooden crates? He was ex-cargo."

"What were the political views of the librarian? She wanted open borders."

"A girl dialed her own no. from her bf's cell to see her name saved in list like doll or sweetie.she was shocked to see............Mukesh plumber..:)"

"*yells from space* Did you kill that spider?!"

"Why do bald-headed men never use keys? Because they've lost their locks."

"My husband is going to be so surprised when he finds out the woman I've been sleeping with is way hotter than his girlfriend."

"It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July."