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Joke of the Day

"DOCTOR: studies show that social media use reduces attention span ME: that's hard to believe DOCTOR: are you checking your phone? ME: what?"

"I'm working out again in hopes that I can wear my superhero shirt in public without someone saying, ""Batman really let himself go""."

"How did So-Cal celebrate the double anniversary of the LA Riots and Cinco de Mayo? Rodney King Pinatas"

"Why are black guys eyes red after sex? From the pepper spray."

"A penguin walks into a bar... He goes up to the barman and says, ""Have you seen my father in here today?"" The barman says, ""I don't know, what does he look like?"""

"A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking."

"I found out about Forrest Gump while looking into Fitbits. He was the best of all the running aids."

"Fun Fact By law, fun facts don't have to be true, but actual facts do. Just a fun fact I thought I'd share."

"Why does an octopus have 8 tentacles instead of 6? (OC) Because even god thinks ""Sextapus"" sounds ridiculous. (Note: For purposes of this joke, god both exists, and prefers latin.)"

"It's going to be easy for Trump to build that wall... ... everyone's shitting bricks everywhere"