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Joke of the Day

"A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking."

"A friend of mine was reading an article on a newspaper talking about the dangers of drinking, after that he stopped doing what he loved... ...reading."

"Can I get an amen? AMEN! Can I get a b-men? BMEN! Can I get a c-men? CME--*the whole church laughs*"

"Life is like a box of chocolates, once you have kids it's gone."

"""911, what's your emergency?"" Me: A cute guy at the laundromat walked past me while I was folding my period underwear."

"How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head? When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up"

"This year's Brits will always be remembered for its fabulous tribute to 'Allo 'Allo!... Featuring the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies."

"While I appreciate that you're bringing sexy back, if we're not also discussing who took sexy away, we're only enabling future sexy problems"

"I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either"

"A peanut was walking down a dark alley He got a-salted"