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Joke of the Day

"A penguin walks into a bar... He goes up to the barman and says, ""Have you seen my father in here today?"" The barman says, ""I don't know, what does he look like?"""

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"Captain America's shield was made of Adamantium. What was Hawkeye's shield made of? Quicksilver."
"Funny knock knock jokes to use during sex. Keep it going. Knock knock... whos there?... sperm! :D"
"A couple had a fight one night, Going to bed husband said, Good night mother of my three kids, Wife said, Good night father of none."
"Do you know why God invented yeast infections? So women could know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too."
"What is Michael J Fox's favourite song? Shake It Off by Tayler Swift"
"when life gives you lemons, be thankful it didn't give you cancer"
"Decided to sell my vacuum today well, it was just collecting dust. /thank you Tim Vine"
"Me and my girlfriend of 16 years split apart yesterday... It was a bad car accident. I really do miss my right hand."
"Small town gynecologists... I bet they spend a lot of time looking up old friends."