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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a French guy wearing sandals? Felipe Flop!"
Next Joke
"I tripped over the dog a second ago and am hurting a little.Web md has it narrowed down to a sprained uterus or a dislocated cervix. So.."
"Blowing your load on a girl counts as a baby shower right ?"
"What do you call a fly when it retires? A flew. BUH DUM TSS! No? Alright.. I'll see myself out."
"Q: Why couldn't the chicken fly through the window? A: It was closed."
"Dear spouse: When I said I needed more physical contact, I was not aiming for you to high five me whenever I walk by..."
"Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster."
"Why can't a hand be 12 inches long? BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT!"
"I blamed being late for work on Rush Hour... The next day I blamed it on Rush Hour 2 (Original credit goes to @murrman5 on twitter)"
"The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself ""This changes everything."""