133566

Joke of the Day

"I blamed being late for work on Rush Hour... The next day I blamed it on Rush Hour 2 (Original credit goes to @murrman5 on twitter)"

"Santiago Munez : from Newcastle utd to Real madrid Movie : Goal Rafa benitez : Real madrid to Newcastle Utd Movie: Own goal"

"*walks by HR door for 11th time to see if she's not there so I can take some candy off her desk* HR: Do you need something Josh? me: Nope"

"dating tip: do NOT kiss their dad on the first date to establish dominance. wait until at least the second date. he will respect you more"

"""tell... my wife... i loved her..."" carl dies. NOO! U LOVED HER WHAT?! *shakes body* U LOVED HER... TITYS? HER CAT? *slaps face* PLS WAKE UP"

"What is DNA The national dyslexic association."

"What do you call a guy with eight dicks? A coctopus"

"Just skipped past a quote from Gandhi on Instagram to ""like"" a photo of a hot dog."

"What's the difference between Rutgers and Rikers? One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail."

"Just tell me those 3 words I am dying to hear: ""The meeting's cancelled."""