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Joke of the Day

"I tripped over the dog a second ago and am hurting a little.Web md has it narrowed down to a sprained uterus or a dislocated cervix. So.."

"I think I want to clean mirrors for a living It's just a job I can see myself doing"

"What's a hotdog's best subject in school? History. Because history has always been written by wieners."

"Which unit describes the intensity of light in South Africa? Nelson Candela"

"In art class I was told black was a shade not a color. That must mean black people aren't colored: they're shady."

"A better name for 'Abercrombie and Fitch' would be 'Abercrombie and White Trash Pre-Abortion Smelly Whore Store'"

"You want just one cow for those magic beans? Idk, I'm suspicious, magic beans sounds like the sort of thing that would cost 2 cows."

"TIFU by crashing my car The last thing that went through my mind was my anus"

"I, for one, am proud of Donald Trump for paying those hookers to pee on each other. He finally paid a contractor"

"Did you hear about the guy who smashed up a Chinese restaurant? They put him in jail for wonton destruction."