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Joke of the Day

"Some people should be dipped in vagisil Maybe then they wouldn't be such irritating cunts"

"If your nose runs and your feet smell..... You're built upside-down."

"Hello. It's me. I was wondering if after all this time you still had all the money you owe me."

"Talking about planets with my nephew. He asked if you could Plow thru Uranus because it's all gas"

"What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard? We're Snowden!"

"interviewer: why do you want this job me: i've just always been very passionate about not starving to death"

"I bet the hardest thing about being a gangsta rapper is never being able to really enjoy a scone in public."

"Wine improves with age, I improve with wine."

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a spoon. Sit there and don't stir."

"Why is cocaine the alt-right's favorite drug? White powder!"